Two years ago, the common view was that the need for quick recognition would result in a wave of tinned-peas titling - series called, for example, The Sex Advice Show - or branded franchises, such as the numerous strains of CSI. But in Britain, at least, it hasn't turned out quite like that. There are branded strands - such as Holby Blue, the cop spin-off from Holby City - but naming is often more imaginative than the marketing theorists predicted.
Indeed, BBC1 currently has two returning series that break all the laws of consumer loyalty by changing their names for each series. The talent show I'd Do Anything (BBC1, Saturday) follows How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? and Any Dream Will Do by choosing the tune from the show for which a star is being sought.
But the choice of Oliver's big romantic ballad for the third run has already permitted tabloid TV columns to be sardonic about Graham Norton's alleged approach to his career. And, long term, this naming strategy would clearly begin to dictate the musicals that could be used. Cabaret, for example, seems out: even an age of irony might balk at a TV talent show called Tomorrow Belongs to Me.
The other series with a chameleon title is Ashes to Ashes, which, if made in America, would have been called Life On Mars 2: Ashes to Ashes. But, again, this tactic limits the show's prospects. DCI Gene Hunt can only appear in future years in which David Bowie had a major hit, which means a possible series three set in 1985 called Dancing in the Street, but not much beyond.
There are, though, many examples of less subtle naming. We can perhaps judge Channel 4's desperation for a drama hit from the fact that the title of its latest crime-family saga seems to have been dictated by a survey of the words most Googled on the internet: Dirty Sexy Money.
Talking about programme titles, there has certainly been better than Who Knew? With Marshall Brain. It doesn’t tell you much beyond the fact that there’s someone out there named Marshall Brain. Who knew? asks Mike Hale.
The How Stuff Works franchise, which includes books and lectures, has grown to cover everything from automatic transmissions to quantum physics to world history. (One feature on the Web site: “How Communism Works.”) But Who Knew? homes in on Mr. Brain’s fascination with robotics. Although there’s usually some old-fashioned handiwork still being practiced at the plants he visits — particularly at Zambelli Fireworks Internationale in New Castle, Pa. — it’s the machines that excite Mr. Brain, and that provide the show’s most arresting moments. In a coming episode the images of towering robots soldering together parts of Hyundai automobiles, the machines madly dipping and swivelling like a troupe of dervishes, are spookier than any Terminator movie.
Unfortunately not every moment on the assembly line is that vivid. In Thursday night’s episode machines spray polyester resin into boat hull molds. We don’t have to watch the polyester dry, but it wouldn’t have been that much slower. Who Knew? is up against the fact that a lot of the manufacturing processes Mr. Brain shows aren’t very interesting visually. It’s one thing to read about them — who knew that golf balls are cooked and stamped in little dimpled metal cups like poached eggs? — but when you see the golf balls being stamped, you think, yeah, I pretty much knew it would look like that. Mr. Brain, who was a computer programmer and teacher before How Stuff Works took off, does his best to liven things up. But as a television host he doesn’t bring a lot to the table beyond his enthusiasm. He has a habit of telling factory foremen, “So, you’re doing X,” leaving them to nod and say, “Yes.” He also asks questions, like “So, you take that data — like, how do you use it?”
The real problem with Who Knew? may be one of scale: golf balls and speedboats and cars are just too small and familiar. National Geographic already has an excellent program, Man-Made, that realizes this and focuses on gargantuan engineering projects like building the Shanghai World Financial Center or taking down a 1.4 million-pound section of a steel bridge and sailing it across San Francisco Bay. Perhaps in a future episode of Who Knew? Mr. Brain could tackle “Ocean Liner, Golf Course, H-Bomb.”
