The fall and rise of the Baldwin dynasty

One is in celebrity rehab, another's an evangelical preacher. And the other two? They're in hit TV shows. Andrea Hubert celebrates the rise, fall and miraculous return of the Baldwin brothers...

Audiences are notoriously fickle creatures. We'll happily hum along to our favourite tarnished pop princess' catchiest tracks while simultaneously giggling over her latest mental breakdown, justified in the smug knowledge that if she presents us with even a half decent attempt at her former glory, we'll welcome her back with open arms. Ultimately, despite our tabloid-addicted bitchy streaks, everybody loves a star that bounces back. Which is why, right here right now, it's good to be a Baldwin.

Currently riding the glorious comeback wave are Alec, in the hit comedy 30 Rock, and William, in new drama Dirty Sexy Money, as an arrogant TV exec and a politician respectively. Over in the US, the two younger, less successful Baldwins, Stephen and Daniel, are keeping their end up with appearances in Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fat Club and, naturally, Celebrity Rehab. A few years ago, you'd be hard pressed to recall the last time you saw any of their faces in your living room. Now, the challenge is finding a Baldwin-free zone on your box.

Not that you'll want to. 30 Rock marked a brilliant return to form for Alec, cementing his status as not only a great dramatic actor, but a truly talented comedian. His portrayal of Jack Donaghy, the obnoxious "vice president of East Coast television and microwave oven programming" (also a member of a clearly parodic multi-siblinged Irish Catholic family prone to violent fighting), showcases his dry wit and seductive voice. It takes a truly engaging charisma to make shrink's dream client Donaghy ("I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman") as likable as he is. Meanwhile, former heartthrob William, now in his forties and slightly jowlier than the good old verging-on-gay-porn Backdraft days, is finally proving he's more than just a pretty face as Patrick Darling VI, a reluctant senator who (in the grandest departure from former roles one could imagine) enjoys sleeping with transgendered prostitutes. Which makes a welcome change from whatever he thought he was doing with Sliver and Fair Game.

William, though he has more skeletons in his movie closet than his older brother, has at least held down a stable marriage, to former Wilson-Phillips singer Chynna Phillips, since 1995. Alec has been far more noticeable over the past few years for his politics, his loud mouth, and an epic public divorce battle of Mills-McCartney-esque levels of bile with ex-wife, actress Kim Basinger. Their ongoing war came to an ugly head in 2007, when a ridiculously angry voicemail message from Baldwin to his 11-year-old daughter Ireland was posted on the internet, in which a publicly excoriated Baldwin called his daughter, among other things a "thoughtless little pig". With repeated reports of on-set histrionics and some amusingly inappropriate diehard democrat political descriptions (Dick Cheney is a "terrorist" while George W merely "a trust-fund puppet"), Alec's public profile has taken something of a battering.

Which only makes his return to popularity all the more remarkable. Perhaps it's because everyone loves a celebrity dynasty. The Kennedys, the Barrymores, the Arquettes (don't laugh) - all occupy a sacred space in the hearts of Yanks who cling to any scrap of legacy that could be deemed as historically significant. They'll put up with a lot from their dynasties, and even when every member is wading neck-deep in a cesspool of career sludge, they'll still give them enough wiggle room to dazzle us with a brilliant new album/movie/TV show/presidency (delete where appropriate). And there's something endearing about those slightly chubby Baldwin boys.

No matter what risible antics they get up to, they're an indelible part of popular culture, scratched into our consciousness firstly in Clueless as a byword for hot ("Okay, so he's kind of a Baldwin") and later by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, first in South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut, when Canada bombs the shit out of their cartoon mansion ("Hey Alec," yells 'toon Billy, in painfully ironic last words, "you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? Nothing!") and later in Team America, where they remind us, cheerfully, in cruel song, "You are worthless Alec Baldwin/You failed in every way/And now my stock in you has fallen/Your career is stallin'." Sung with love, obviously.

Besides which, the Baldwins are significantly useful in areas of life that people actually care about. While William's the poster boy for happily ever after, everybody's least favourite Baldwin, drug-addled overweight Daniel (does anybody even remember that two-year career zenith on Homicide: Life On The Street?) is drying out and losing weight on camera. And Alec, despite his marital strife, self confessed OCD, and unsteady string of girlfriends (Ally Sheedy, Kristin Davis and Tatum O'Neal to name a few), has fully embraced an issue close to many people's hearts - animal rights. A strict vegan, he recently narrated Meet Your Meat, a promotional PETA video that shows the appalling conditions of tasty animals. "What you are about to see is beyond your worst nightmares," he warns, leaving you terrified, a little turned on, and (ashamedly) waiting for a punchline. Now how many PETA videos can claim that?

Fresh from his onscreen feud with Piers Morgan in the US Celebrity Apprentice (we love you Stephen!), the littlest Baldwin has gone one further, heading straight to the heart of middle America by eschewing a potentially successful acting career (he was one of The Usual Suspects) to become an evangelical preacher, combining the word of the Gospel with extreme sports. And in true Baldwin fashion, he's not holding back even a little bit. His best-selling memoir, The Unusual Suspect, includes an open letter to Satan's alleged disciple Bono, criticising his dedication to erasing third world debt.

Oh, and he also promises that if you try and stop him making disciples of the youth of America, he's going to "break your face". It's a tough call working out which is funnier - 30 Rock or this?

As champions of the underdog, even us Brits have to agree there's no feeling warmer than seeing formerly chubby, formerly shamed or formerly addicted members of a notorious dynasty blast their way back from the brink of oblivion. Our boys may once have been a laughing stock but if you think they're ever out of the game, you really don't understand what it means to be a Baldwin.

Dirty Sexy Money, Fri, 9pm, C4